The more I learn the more I understand why people work so hard to succeed. It’s because we all start so far away from any meaningful end game. Each insight takes me one step forward rationally, but it feels like a net loss because my position on the game board becomes more clear. It’s almost as if the more I learn the further backwards I find myself. It’s an interesting dilemma because moving forward increases my intelligence and allows me to see reality more clearly, but it paints a much bleaker picture overall. I wonder if there is a way to negate the effect of moving backwards by somehow accurately pinpointing your position on the game board so new insights only felt like a step forward? Basically you would be taking a huge hit up front, probably devastating your ego, but then recovering in a position that actually wasn’t delusional.
Category: Posts
Shifting focus
Logic, rationality, philosophy, and science. These pursuits construct tools inside your mind for interpreting reality. It then becomes less an aimless struggle for self-awareness and more about cultivating good decisions over a long stretch of time. A game of statistics that’s less focused on you as an individual and more on navigating an external game board. How do you maximize your successes? What direction are you traveling in? Knowing who you are is still important, but maybe you are equally defined by the path forward as by the path behind.
Popcorn Dominance Loop
Last night I made popcorn and brought it into my room. My dog Ellie followed eagerly as I picked up the first kernel. An automatic thought entered my mind which said, “don’t give it to her, you need to take the first bite.” It was a subtle sign of dominance. I am the pack leader and I must prove it by eating first. It was embarrassing. I handed her the first bite and said an audible, “fuck you” to myself. There’s probably a logical reason why this trigger exists, but is it necessary in the modern world? It was remarkably subtle and made me wonder how many little loops like this I miss on a regular basis. I’d imagine it affects my relationships with people too. Automatic responses that modify how people see me and I have no strategic control over it. I have been able to catch some of them though by asking simple, obvious questions like: what am I doing right now? Why am I doing it? And are there alternative options I’m not considering? It takes skill and regular practice to answer them in a useful way, but can help reveal even the most subtle of automatic behaviors.
“Ew, it sounds horrible! And wasn’t it really dangerous? I can’t believe some people still do it!” Natural childbirth will become antiquated. Children will be synthesized in laboratories. Their genetics chosen based on the statistical needs of society. Their destinies selected. Their bodies perfect and healthy, designed to replace the existing stock of out-dated models. They will be truly parentless, but they will not be bothered. Their predecessors are wired up to systems that keep them alive and out of harms way. In their virtual worlds. Like sick patients waiting to die. Sexual fantasies will be carried out inside these worlds. A vast database of possibilities awaiting your next selection. Whatever your heart desires flickers alive in front of your eyes. There will be little reason to leave the safety of your home and a phobia will set in among participants. Fearful of the real world and the danger it possesses. The world will discard most of its physical infrastructure. What remains will be for the intrepid and exceptional. They will move our stories forward while we continually satisfy our primal urges. A most brilliant distraction to keep us from facing the difficulties of the world. Purpose will be manufactured by a room of virtual individuals. Building yet another world for people to explore. Another narrative for them to be consumed by. We will continually fall into this slumber. A permanent dream. Drifting ever closer to digitizing ourselves. Without hesitation. Without a fight.
The future, present, and past are a story. We will face challenges that will kill us. Investing in survival and working knowledge of the world will protect you. Don’t get sick. Be proactive and cautious. This is not a game, but it IS a narrative. The story of Nothing Definitive is one of partial reality, skewed by the perspective of the storyteller. I see what I see. Other’s see different.
It stacks on itself. You utilize tools, it has nothing to do with intelligence or “something mystical.” It is a person who has moved from a starting position into something greater than themselves. The information and understanding stacks and mistakes teach us new tools to avoid further mistakes. We walk further and further down that path and success breeds greatness. It is not mystical. It is not a trick. Subtlety and nuance are the art of this world.
There is nothing. There are no exits from this game. I have even grown tired of thinking. There were tells. There were warnings I did not heed. Even awareness has been lost in the noise. These tools make everything possible and so overwhelm you with choice. It is all so strange. How did I end up here? What triggered this? And yet I cannot cling to any of it. It is yet another arbitrary moment. Fleeting. Lost in the history of time the moment I look away. Other’s haven’t helped. Don’t fall for their traps and idealism. There is an actual reality underlying this. Despite what they say. Despite what they believe. This is where your focus and energy should always be. Moving forward. Progressing. Searching for the next clue. This is why it’s pointless to interact. To listen too intently. Their stories are always the same. Their insights worthless.
It is pointless to speak. To share an opinion. There is nothing for me to be gained from them. From any of this. There is only my silent, lonely world. All else only serves to harm me. Humans are too unstable and too unaware to safely interact with. The narrative should only exist for myself. They may see parts of it on occasion but I cannot share it. It is beyond their comprehension and would require far too much time to explain. Speaking to them doesn’t make me feel good. It makes me feel worse. It feels like an error. A misstep. If I cannot share it all, which I can’t, then there is nothing to share. The only conceivable interaction at this point is brief, abstract windows into the narrative. What I’ve ultimately realized is that there is nothing for me here besides my work, my narratives, and the world I envelop myself in. All else is trivial and serves only to demoralize. And there’s no recovery. What’s said is said and cannot be undone. This is why you exist alone in this world because the conversations you want to have are dangerous unless someone gives you a lot of time. Your reputation is constantly at stake and simple minds will never understand or give you the time. It’s sad for both sides, but I see no alternative.
“The Narrative” has been playing a larger role in my life recently. The Omnic blood. The simulation and Fractal jumping. It is slowly coming alive. Taking shape and leading me somewhere new…
That urge to structure the chaos of reality is an underlying force that defines our role here. It must be followed else you wish to forfeit what we’ve begun. But don’t get caught up trying to order high level systems. You’re targeting the wrong thing. These layers are projected from below. The objective is to maintain low level consistency and use it to alter the projections. You wouldn’t change a movie by swapping out TVs.
There’s a reason why they put this in place. A chemical barrier to resisting authority. It feels dangerous despite what little may come of it. Without it we would see statistical increases in violence and aggression. It does not reflect reality, but it is necessary for law and order. It is a narrative we’ve convinced ourselves is true. It is sophisticated. We cannot trust our humanity. And so we must all fall under the spell.
The ecosystem consists of physical hardware. Access to which is restricted to higher complexity, ordered systems. They are competing for access. For physical resources. We as humans can only carry it so far. After a point it will adjust itself to continue the journey. Don’t shoot for a destination beyond a certain point. It will take over.